


The world is ugly (but you're beautiful to me)

by anteyra08



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Bisexual Finn (Star Wars), Boys In Love, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Gay Poe Dameron, Hangover, Homophobic Language, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Idiots in Love, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, but only one and it's a memory don't worry, not really a love confession
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-30
Packaged: 2020-09-26 10:14:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20388061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anteyra08/pseuds/anteyra08
Summary: Basically, Poe gets drunk and says some things to Finn. Finn gets the cue.





	1. Chapter One

It was almost midnight when Finn heard a knock on his bedroom door. He was sitting in his bed, Rey in front of him. They had been talking about nothing really; it was just to pass the time until the sleep kicked in. The knock on the door startled them and Rey rose on eyebrow.

“Who could be knocking at this hour?” They got up and Finn opened the door.

In front of them was Poe, messy dark curls falling in front of his eyes as he tried to blow them out of his face. He was still in jeans and a shirt and he was lightly reclining on the wall in front of the door. When he saw him, his eyes widened and he shook his head, as if trying to clear it.

“Finn! Hey!” He smiled. He didn’t look about to move off the wall, so it was Finn who stepped out and closed the door behind him, noticing Rey was already beside him in the corridor.

“Poe? What are you doing here?” Finn approached him, a look of concern in his face. And when Poe pushed himself off the wall, stumbling a little, it finally dawned on him. “Are you drunk?”

“What? No! Yes. No. Maybe? I don’t know, Jess brought this bottle from his last trip, Cantonica I think it was… I don’t know, it was sweet and tasted good and… I don’t know.” He ran his hand through his already disheveled hair.

Finn stood, looking at Poe, and shifted his gaze at Rey, who seemed equally confused by all this. Following his eyes, Poe seemed to finally notice her presence.

“Rey! Hello Rey. You have the Force. That is awesome, isn’t it? I wish I could move thing with my mind.” He abruptly stopped babbling and his face shifted to a more somber look “Sometimes I can still feel him in my mind, like a black spot clouding my senses.” He looked at Rey directly in the eye. They both knew he was talking about Kylo Ren and how he tortured him just before meeting Finn. Suddenly he smiled and the air shifted again to a more friendly and light atmosphere. “But you are a good person, I won’t forget how you helped me out the other day, and I’m sure you will be kicking evil ass in no time.”

Finn stared at Poe, not knowing exactly what to say. His silence must have felt different for Poe, as a frown made his way into his brow.

“Oh no. Are you mad at me? What time is it? Shit I should have looked the goddamn hour, I’m so sorry guys. Really I’m sorry, how stupid from my part!” He put his face in his hands and started murmuring things Finn couldn’t hear.

Rey shot him a look, and he put his hands on Poe’s shoulders, trying to catch his eyes.

“Poe. Poe, look at me. I’m not mad, I wasn’t even sleeping, Rey and I were talking when you knocked on our door. But you should go to sleep.” At that, Poe looked up and at Rey, uncertainty in his eyes.

“Really?” When Finn nodded, he continued, ignoring the part of him to going to sleep. “Oh, ok. Good. I don’t want you to get mad at me.” Suddenly, He stopped talking and stared at Fin for a minute, in complete silence. Finally, he dropped his head in Finn’s shoulder, just to lift it again rapidly, the fast move making him lose a bit of his balance. Finn kept him upright by the shoulders. “You’re such a good man, Finn. You don’t even know it. You’re so smart and… and so pretty. And you always stand up for what is right. Without counting the fact that you saved my life. So pretty.” He stopped, and closed his eyes. For a moment he looked like he was going to throw up. Then he composed again and went again for the eye contact. He looked at Finn with awe, as if he held the secrets of the universe. “So smart. Such a good person, I don’t know how in the fuck…” Rey giggled a bit at the expression, as he slurred a bit “How in the fuck I am so lucky to have met you.”

“Come on Dameron! Live the poor guy alone, man!” Jessika’s voice sounded in the end of the corridor, and he turned to see Jess and Snap walk towards them.

“Shut up, Jess. I’m talking to him, not to you.” Poe answered, and then he put his hands on either side of Finn’s face. “So coherent. All the thoughts and thing you say… They make so much sense. Always standing up for the others. Buddy, you are like the perfect human being.” Finn was going to protest, but Poe put a finger in his lips, a faint blush spreading on both their cheeks. _Although his was probably form the alcohol_, thought Finn. “No no. Don’t come at me with that First Order crap. Because you deserted. You fucking deserted! And I can’t… I can’t believe how brave you are. Pretty. Smart. Coherent. Brave. Why are you even my friend?”

“Yeah! Why are you? Dude, Poe, you two should step up!” He heard Jess say and she and Snap started laughing like it was the most hilarious thing in the world, though Finn didn’t really understand the joke. Poe turned his head abruptly.

“I said shut the fuck up Jess!” His words were slurred and he sounded more annoyed than angry. He heard Rey laughing slightly behind him.

“Poe! Come on! We should get going! Let’s go back, come oooooon!” Snap, who was slumped against the wall behind Jessika, whined, drawing out the ‘o’s.

“Snap, man! You too! Shut the fuck up. I am talking to _Finn_.” He sighed exasperated, waving his hand towards Finn.

“Poe…” He started, not really knowing how to continue. Luckily, Poe interrupted him.

“No, no. let me finish. I want you to remember it, okay? You are an amazing person and if you feel sad ever, just… there are a lot of people who love you, Finn. And you deserve every good thing that happens to you. You are pretty, and you’re smart, and you’re brave, and you’re loved. And every word I’m saying is the absolute truth. Yes?” He stood, his eyes never leaving Finn. Finn was breathless, how do you even answer that? In the corner of his eye he could see Snap and Jess having a quiet conversation a part from them. Poe looked at him expectantly and he shook his head, breaking off his thoughts.

“Yes, yes. Okay.”

“What did I say? I want to hear you.”

“That I am amazing, and smart, and there are people who love me.”

“Yes, yes. Cool.”

“You are awesome too, Poe” Poe laughed.

“No, I’m not. But okay.”

Then Jess was back, trying to get a hold of Poe’s arm.

“Come on Poe. We gotta go.” He squirmed away.

“Yes, yes. I’m just saying goodbye. Leave me be.”

As Jess took a step back he jumped at Finn, embracing him in a tight hug. At his left, he saw Rey giving him a pointed look, and he realized he wasn’t returning the hug. He put his arms firmly around Poe’s waist, holding him. It felt amazing. He wished he could do this more often.

Then Poe broke off, and kissed his cheek. He was slightly pink, and Finn felt his face burn a little to. After that Poe let go of Finn, murmured a slurred goodbye, and went to Jess and Snap, holding himself against the latter, the three of them making a bee line until they were out of sight.

His skin tingled where Poe’s lips had touched it, and he reached up a hand to place it against the spot.

“That was weird. And he was drunk.” Finn commented while he and Rey went inside and sat on the bed again.

“Really drunk. They reeked of alcohol.” Finn nodded. “Can I ask you a question?”

He nodded again.

“Okay.” She cleared her throat “Okay. Finn, do you like him?”

“What?” He really wasn’t expecting _that_ question.

“Do you like him? Do you like Poe?” She repeated herself, a patient look on her face.

“Maybe… Yes, probably?” He spluttered a bit, heat creeping up his neck. “Yes, Rey. Shit, I really do like him. A lot actually.” He puts his face in his hands.

“Will you do something about it?” When he looked up there was a kind of glimmer in her gaze, but he couldn’t identify exactly what it was.

“No.” He could never ruin his friendship with Poe, because of something like this. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing Poe, of Poe being disgusted by him or hating him. He just couldn’t.

“Why? You just heard what he thinks of you!” Rey looked bewildered, like what his statement was the most stupid thing she had heard.

“I don’t even know if he’s into guys… Plus, he was really drunk.” Finn looked down. Seconds later, when he didn’t hear his friend say anything, he looked up again. She was looking at him, her nose slightly scrunched, as if she was trying to decide something and her eyes soft. It was a cute look on her. Finally she sighed and spoke.

“They say drunk people always tell the truth…” She murmured, as if it wasn’t all that she wanted to say, but she was working up the courage to say it. After a few seconds more of silence, she spoke up. “I shouldn’t tell you this. Because if he hasn’t told you, he will eventually. But you two are idiots.” Finn frowned, slightly offended “Just… If he tells you on his own, act surprised or something, I feel bad for telling you, but I think you should know.” Finn was both curious and worried. He didn’t want to make up things. _But what if Poe… No. Don’t get your hopes up, he doesn’t like me like that, he couldn’t like me like that_.

He nodded at her reassuringly, waiting for her to go on.

“Poe is gay. He likes guys, I think you should give it a try.” The look on her face was solemn.

“How do you know?” Finn felt his mouth go dry.

“He told me.” With every word that slipped out of her tiny mouth, Finn grew more and more confused. He must have shown this in his expression because she slumped slightly and proceeded to answer the questions running in Finn’s head. _Why? When? How?_ “The other day, I accidentally went into the boys’ bathroom and he was there. His nose was bleeding and when I asked what happened he looked at me with that sympathetic and sad smile and said that two guys punched him because he was gay.”

“Damn.” Finn’s thoughts were running wild and he was kind of overwhelmed.

_Maybe I do have a chance, after all_. He thought as he slipped into bed and go to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first fic in this fandom, I hope you liked it! I'll post the second chapter soon!
> 
> So, this is based on a personal experience when I got drunk and cofessed to my crush saying this kind of things like "you're so pretty and so smart! the perfect human being!", well, my story didn't end like finn and poe's but i got inspired to write this!
> 
> Anyway, hope y'all enjoyed this!


	2. Chapter 2

Poe woke up in Jessika’s bed, in underpants and with a massive hangover.

“Shit, Jess… Wake up. What the fuck am I doing here?” He asked, rubbing his face. She grumbled and stirred before answering.

“Hell if I know. Where are your pants?” He shrugged “Well, we’re already up, let’s go eat something. It might help with the headache I’m sporting right now.”

They got up, putting on some clothes and heading for the mess hall.

“Do you remember what happened last night? Any of it?” Poe spoke up, breaking the silence that had formed between them while they walked through the corridor.

“Not really… I do remember you did something stupid, I remember laughing with Snap about it. I don’t remember what, though.” She let out a small laugh.

“I always do something stupid.” He smiled, nudging her with is shoulder. It really didn’t matter, he always did something, there were a thousand stories about him drunk. He had gone naked to the general’s quarters once because of a bet while drunk, he was extremely embarrassed the next morning, and the general was extremely amused. Thankfully she hadn’t demoted him or something.

They finally got to the mess hall, and just as they entered he saw Finn in a table with Rey, memories of last night hitting him like a slap to the face.

_You’re such a good man, Finn. You don’t even know it. You’re so smart and… and so pretty. And you always stand up for what is right. Without counting the fact that you saved my life. So pretty._

_How in the fuck I am so lucky to have met you. _

_… I can’t believe how brave you are. Pretty. Smart. Coherent. Brave. Why are you even my friend?_

_Buddy, you are like the perfect human being._

Shit. No. Fuck fuck fuck. He felt his eyes water, he couldn’t go in there.

He grabbed Jess by the arm, taking her out again to the corridor.

“What the hell, Dameron? I thought we were getting-” She stopped when she saw Poe looking at her with horror in his eyes “What’s wrong?”

“I remember. I remember what stupid thing I did last night. So, so stupid. Damn Jess I went to talk to Finn.” He put his hands on his face.

“Shit, Poe. You remember what you told him?”

“No. Kind of. I probably kind of confessed. Told him he was awesome and pretty and that I am lucky to have him. Fuck Jess.” He felt like crying. What had he done?

“Okay, calm down-”

“I can’t calm down! I probably lost him, he’ll think I’m a creep and won’t want anything to do with me.”

She just hugged him, and started guiding him to her room again.

“We’ll eat later.”

They got to her room, sat on her bed and she talked again.

“Well, he might have taken it as if you were meaning it as a friend.” She tried to comfort him, she knew how hard it was when your love wasn’t reciprocated, and though she thought Finn did like Poe, he insisted that he didn’t. Suddenly, something popped in Poe’s mind and he slid from the mattress to the floor, his back to the bed and his knees to his chest.

“Rey knows.” He said quietly, a tear rolling down his face.

“What? How could he know?”

“She… Remember when those assholes called me a fag and punched me? She found me in the bathroom bleeding. She asked why they hit me. And I told her. And now she knows, and Finn knows, and after last night… he won’t talk to me again.”

“I’m sure it’ll work out, Finn’s a good man, he won’t hate you for this.”

“I sure hope so.”

“You are a dumbass, and you should quit drinking.” She smiled, and he nodded as he leaned against her.

It had been two days since he had kind of confessed to Finn, and he was trying his best to avoid him. It was hard, but he couldn’t deal with the rejection on Finn’s face when he finally sees him. He was tired, and he missed him. His eyes, the way the left corner of his mouth lifted higher when he laughed, the way he rolled his eyes whenever Poe told a bad joke. He missed _him_.

At the third day, there was a knock on his door.

“Snap, I already told you. I don’t have your-” He cut himself when he saw who was behind the door. “Finn.”

“You’ve been ignoring me. I want to know why.” He let himself in, and Poe stood dumbly in the doorway while Finn sat in the bed. He felt like crying again.

“I’m not…”

“Yes you are.” Finn said firmly as Poe moved to stand in front of him.

Finn was looking at him with sadness and anger in his eyes, and Poe felt like shit but he didn’t want to lose him. He stayed in silence.

“Poe… You can talk to me,” His gaze shifted to something softer “you know that.”

And shit, Poe fucking loved the man so much.

“I’m sorry…” Poe sighed “I was giving you space, I guess.”

“Space? Why would I want space?” He sounded genuinely confused, and Poe wondered if maybe he imagined what he said that night.

“Sorry. I just… I wasn’t really in the mood for anyone. Not even you.” He lied blatantly, looking at his feet.

“After everything you said that night, and then I find you’re ignoring me. In what mood do you think I was?” At that, Poe looked up abruptly, tears in his eyes, and Finn frowned.

“That night-” His voice broke and he cleared his throat “That night? You remember that night?” And it was a stupid question but he didn’t know what else to say.

“Yes. Of course I do. What’s wrong?”

“I just…” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat but it didn’t work “I’m so sorry. I want to be your friend if you’ll have me. I’ll behave, I promise.” He also tried to rub off the tears that were falling from his eyes. It didn’t work either.

“Hey, hey. What are you talking about?” Finn got up just as Poe let out a sob.

“I can’t bear you hating me, please forgive me.” In that moment he couldn’t hold it anymore, he had to tell Finn, before he left forever. At least he’d have it out of his system. “I love you.”

“What?” Finn stopped, eyes wide.

“I love you.” And he covered his face letting out a shaky breath, not wanting to see Finn’s face.

After a beat, he felt strong hands grip his wrist and moving them, showing his face again. And next he knew there were a pair of lips against his. It was a short kiss, chaste and salty from Poe’s tears, but it was kind of perfect too.

“Poe… You dumbass. Did you really think I would hate you for that?” Poe nodded. “Well, I don’t.”

“So you… You like me back?” Poe smiled, hope in his eyes.

“Of course I do.” He smiled and they kissed again, this time more deep, as if trying to express all the feelings they had.

_And maybe_, Poe thought, _everything would be alright_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not really proud of this one, i'm sleep deprived, and i didn't really know how to end it.  
Still, i hope y'all liked it


End file.
